Originally published via Armageddon Safari: Sometimes stereotypes hold true. Case in point: Asian men do indeed, as a rule of thumb, as anyone who has watched Japanese pornography may have noticed, tend to have smaller-than-average packages compared to those of the European persuasion and definitely pitted against the Africans. (I discuss issues related to the phallus in the context of living in East Asia as an expat extensively in my … [Read more...]
About Ben Bartee
https://armageddonprose.substack.com
Ben Bartee, author of Broken English Teacher: Notes From Exile, is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.
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On the Third World’s Insatiable Appetite For Hollow Consumerism
Originally published via Armageddon Safari: "Have you beauty, that leads the heart from things fashioned of wood and stone to the holy mountain? Tell me, have you these in your houses? Or have you only comfort, and the lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house a guest, and becomes a host, and then a master?" -Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet Of all the cancerous cultural exports America has inflicted upon the unsuspecting innocents … [Read more...]
Is Japan About to Be Gifted With Our Greatest Strength™?
Originally published via Armageddon Safari: On account of grim demographic trends and unyielding pressure from the West, Japan may be about to get a lot more colorful, in a manner of speaking, and culturally enriched. Related: Polish High Court Rules National Sovereignty Supersedes EU Authority, EU Sues Via Newsweek (emphasis added): “Japan logged its fewest births on record last year and more than twice as many deaths, according to a … [Read more...]
Naughty (Non-Consensual) Bangkok Subway Upskirt Pics in Authorities’ Crosshairs
Originally published via Armageddon Safari: At the Thailand Cultural Center MRT, recently, next to the standard no-durian infographic — the king of fruit’s smell comes off as obscene to many people and is therefore banned from public transport and hotel rooms — there sat a new addition to the list of prohibited substances and activities on the subway: upskirt pics, later to be uploaded and monetized on some shady dark corner of the web. The … [Read more...]
Samsung and I Paint the Town Red: The Tuk-Tuk Hustle
Originally published via PJ Media: What follows is a (mostly) unedited excerpt from my critically acclaimed, gold-standard expat travel memoir/existentialist treatise, “Broken English Teacher: Notes From Exile”: The degenerate felon with whom I had come to briefly reside in South Georgia in 2006 through a series of unfortunate events, in my younger years, asked me for a cigarette. Tyrone had none because he refused to buy … [Read more...]
Bangkok Indians: ‘You Are Lucky Man’
Originally published via Armageddon Safari: In the Big Mango, the extremely friendly prostitutes outside the “massage” shops on the street all tell me I’m “so handsome man.” Related: Critical Insights: What Makes Thai Prostitutes Superbly Talented The strange Indian men who prowl those same streets all tell me I’m “lucky man.” Lucky and handsome! I feel so fucking special every time I step outside. (Forget SSRIs or … [Read more...]
Dispatches From Exile: Santa Cruz, Mexico
A quaint fishing village on the Pacific in the middle of nowhere, Santa Cruz, Mexico is best described by its proximity to Puerto Vallarta, which itself was a fishing village until a few decades ago when some gringo celebrities turned it into a sodomy-laden tourist destination. Related: Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in Full Color Santa Cruz is still the real deal. Farmers ride horses where they please and shirtless motorbike riders with their … [Read more...]
Guanajuato, Mexico: Bimbo Trucks and God-Sized God Statues
In Guanajuato, I discovered something I never wished to stumble upon in Mexico and I never did anywhere else in this beautiful land: the dreaded Chinese tourist, the scourge of the Seven Seas, bane of all decency, destroyer of innocence. This is not racism; it is fact. Pose the question to anyone with experience dealing with this species of tourist, as I have to numerous Thailand tour operators: mirror, mirror, on the wall, who are the worst … [Read more...]
Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in Full Color
Having spent time in other Mexican locales like Oaxaca and Merida, Puerto Vallarta seems very much not Mexican in the traditional sense of the word. It's basically a sprawling series of condos, hotels, and shopping malls on the beach – with a healthy smattering of pharmacies selling illicit concoctions banned for over-the-counter sales in most of the world in between -- much in the same way that Phuket has become in Thailand. Here's what I … [Read more...]