A traveler can spend weeks reading about visa rules and tipping customs and still arrive with no idea what a kiss means in the country they are visiting. The same traveler may not know that some destinations treat an unmarried couple sharing a room as a legal matter. A romance with a local is conducted under local custom and local law. Visitors who date abroad are bound by both, and the guidebooks that cover restaurants and museums usually say little about either.
Holiday Romance in Survey Data
A survey of 1,000 adults, run by the research firm Appinio in January 2025 for a European hotel group, found that 26.2% of respondents had fallen in love while on vacation. Most of those romances were brief, with 16.4% saying the relationship became long-term and 45.8% describing a short fling.
Nearly half of the respondents who fell in love on a trip, 46.2%, met the person during a beach holiday, and a quarter of them met in the shared spaces of their accommodation, such as a breakfast room or lounge. In the same survey, 39.8% of all respondents said it is easier to fall in love while traveling. A relaxed holiday mood makes meeting people easier, and short flings still outnumbered lasting relationships by nearly 3 to 1.
Courtship Customs by Country
In Japan, a relationship usually begins with kokuhaku, a direct confession of feelings, often phrased as suki desu, meaning “I like you,” followed by a request to go out. Several dinners together do not make two people a couple until one of them confesses and the other accepts. The custom is an exception in a culture that otherwise favors indirect speech, and a visitor who expects things to progress through hints may find a local partner waiting for a plain statement.
Christmas Eve is a popular evening for a confession in Japan, and some Japanese guides describe an informal expectation that the question is settled by about the third date. Saying aishiteru, the Japanese “I love you,” is a much larger step and is said far less often than its English equivalent.
In France, dating expectations are set by the first kiss on the lips, which is commonly read as agreement to an exclusive relationship. Couples there rarely hold a formal talk to define the relationship once that has happened. A visitor who treats the kiss as casual may be seen to have made a commitment, and a local partner may be surprised when the visitor flies home with no plan to stay in contact.
Age, region and religion all change these customs within a single country. A 24-year-old in Tokyo may follow different norms from their parents, and a partner from that country is the most reliable source on which ones apply to them.
Legal Limits in Popular Destinations
Visitors in Dubai can hold hands in public, while kissing and hugging in public are not allowed there. The United Arab Emirates government’s own visitor page warns that breaches of public decency can lead to legal action and deportation. Arrests of tourists for kissing in public have been reported in Dubai. A 2020 package of reforms in the UAE ended criminal penalties for unmarried couples living together and allowed alcohol for adults 21 and over in private or licensed venues. The public decency rules stayed in force after those reforms.
Indonesia’s new criminal code took effect on January 2, 2026. Article 411 makes sex outside marriage punishable by up to 1 year in prison, and unmarried couples living together face up to 6 months. Prosecution under Article 411 requires a complaint from a spouse, parent or child, which makes cases against short-term visitors unlikely. The law still applies to everyone in the country, including tourists in Bali, and a complaint from a local partner’s parents would be enough to start a case.
Bar Bill Scams Aimed at Visitors
A friendly invitation to one particular bar is a documented setup in Budapest, and it often begins as what looks like a date. In March 2025, a bar on Rákóczi Road in Budapest charged a foreign visitor HUF 250,000, about €630, for a single beer that staff had presented as a free gift. Hungarian police arrested three men and one woman in connection with the operation, which local media described as having exploited tourists for years. Customers who resisted the charges were reportedly threatened with physical harm, and one man got away by telling the staff he needed to fetch cash from his hotel. The suspects denied wrongdoing.
Canada’s travel advice for Hungary tells visitors to ask for a menu with listed prices before ordering and warns that disputes over a bill can turn violent, so a call to the police is safer than an argument with staff. The same precautions apply in any city where a new acquaintance insists on one specific venue.
Personal Safety in Bars and Nightlife
A first meeting with a local often takes place in a bar, which is also where drink spiking is most often reported. Survey data published by the UK charity Drinkaware in September 2025 found that 1.8% of UK adults believed they had been spiked in the previous year. The rate among adults aged 18 to 34 was 3%, and bars accounted for 41% of incidents, ahead of social events at 26% and nightclubs at 25%.
Only 23% of people who believed they had been spiked contacted the police, and the survey was conducted in the UK, where victims speak the language and know the system. A traveler abroad has fewer of those advantages. Keeping a drink in hand or in view, choosing the venue for the first meeting, telling a travel companion or hotel staff where the meeting is, and saving the local emergency number along with the nearest consulate’s number before going out all reduce the risk.
Language Barriers and Consent
A few shared phrases are enough for dinner conversation. They are a poor basis for agreeing to sex. Enthusiastic consent, a plainly stated yes from both people, is the standard to apply when the two people do not share a first language. A nod or a smile from someone speaking their second language is too uncertain to count as agreement, and asking directly in simple words protects both people from a misreading. Agreement to a drink or to a walk back to the hotel applies to that step alone, and each later step needs its own yes.
Preparation Before a Date Abroad
Before departure, read the host government’s guidance for visitors on public conduct and relationships, along with any recent changes to its criminal code. The guidance lists the rules that can end a trip early or lead to a court date. The customs are a separate matter, and a local partner can explain them over the first drink, provided the visitor asks.
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