Jim lives in London – Dave is regularly in the UK visiting friends and sightseeing. Jim has a popular International talk show where prominent and celebrated guests often make appearances. World traveler Dave has been his most common guest so we went ahead and just changed the name of the show to: “The Dave and Jim Show”. We present the show to you in short webisodes. Enjoy!
Essentially Dave goes on Jim’s wildly popular International travel show (in his UK studio) as one of his celebrity guests – Jim is serious, and patient as the host. And Dave is exactly the opposite. It makes for an interesting and humorous dynamic. The show is really supposed to be about travel but often alcohol and sometimes “Dave’s” other crazy escapades encroach into the dialogue.
Webisode 1 – Tipsy, Palau –
Webisode 2 – India Wedding, Dancing –
Webisode 3 – Sharing Travel Tips –
Webisode 4 – Hungover, Kilimanjaro –
Webisode 5 – Arrested in LA, Travel Stress –
Webisode 6 – Carousel Incident, R. Ripley –
Webisode 7 – Social Media, China Trip –
Webisode 8 – London Problem, Thailand –
Webisode 9 – Audience Questions –
Webisode 10 – Belieber, End of World –
Webisode 11 – Throwing TV out Hotel Room –
Webisode 12 – Unruly Passenger on Plane! –
Webisode 13 – New Shirt, Portugal –
Webisode 14 – Celebrity Demands –
Webisode 1, The Dave & Jim Show
Jim: “Hi Dave, its good to see you again.”
Dave Puppet: “Hahahahaha”
Action: starts laughing uncontrollably
Jim: “You OK?”
Dave Puppet: “I’m afraid I’ve had a bit to drink already.”
Action: holds up small bottle (or small glass maybe plastic cup is BEST – if plastic cup, write in bold letters the word “wine”) in hand to camera
Dave Puppet: “I got into your mini bar. I would like to apologize before we get started.”
Jim: “I can see that. Now tell me about your latest travels.”
Dave puppet: “Before I do, can you tell me how many viewers this show gets?”
Action: Jim sighs – exasperated.
Jim: “and why is that?”
Dave: “Because I want to be a celebrity.”
Dave Puppet: “Its not often I get to do a celeb interview. I want to do a shout-out. Hi mom. Hi!”
Action: Puppet waves vigorously at the camera. Holds up bottle again
Action: Jim glares at puppet without saying a word.
Dave Puppet: “OK, OK, my travels. My favorite trip this year was to Palau. Wow.”
Jim: “Where is Palau?”
Dave Puppet: “Jim, its geography. After this interview pull out your globe. I know you have one. I saw one in your bathroom.”
Dave Puppet: “I love Palau. The beauty of this country is amazing. The waterfalls, the Rock Islands. Jellyfish lake. So are the beaches. Speaking of which, the ladies think I’m cute when they see me drying my fur on the sand with my glass of rum in hand. Did I just rhyme? Hahahaha.”
Jim: Laughs. “Dave – unfortunately we are out of time. I would love to have you back on the show again. I know you are dying to talk about your trip to India this summer for your sister’s wedding.”
Dave: “You want to come to the bar with me after?”
Jim: “Cut, cut cut.”
Webisode 2, The Dave & Jim Show
Dave: “This is the second time you’ve had me on your show. I think you will agree we are fast becoming close friends.”
Action: Puppet then touches front of Jim’s forehead
Action: Jim moves away
Jim: “What are you doing?”
Dave Puppet: “Jim, is it just me or have you lost some hair since I last saw you?”
Jim: “You were on my show LAST week Dave! …. your travels… Where is your next sand, sun, and surf destination.”
Dave: “I don’t surf.”
Jim: “But I know you like sunning on beaches, putting some color in that fur of yours.”
Dave: “Yes, for the ladies.”
“Speaking of which I had a swell time partying at my sisters wedding in Chennai India this summer. I’ve just been dying to tell your viewers about this epic trip!”
Jim: “How did it go?”
Dave: “I learned some “moves” while dancing to sitar music – here…let me show you now.”
Action: bumps body up against Jim – moves back and forth – one hand out in right direction, one hand out in left direction – hits front of forehead with right hand moving in and out twice. Then waves at camera and waves again.
Tries to do headstand but then says
Dave: “Oops, that’s not going to work, for a second there I forgot I was a puppet.”
Jim: “Dave – it’s always a blast having you on the show. I look forward to more of your travel adventures next show.”
Dave: “high five”
Dave Action: High five
Jim action: High five
Webisode 3, The Dave & Jim Show
Jim: “Today we have our long time guest, global traveler Dave on the show to share some of his most learn-ed advice, tips and tricks from his more than 100 countries visited.”
Dave: “I’m not comfortable sharing this information until you kick down some cash.”
Dave: “I need money to share that sort of information with your thousands of viewers. Viewers means money and I know there are many eyeballs on board tonight. Pounds, Euros, American Dollars – any of the above will loosen the lips.”
Jim: “I’m sure something can be worked out.”
Dave: “Jim it sounds like your waffling on me.”
Action: Jim turns over his shoulder and yells “Hey babe (or insert name here), can you bring Dave some cash”
Hand shows up in camera with money handed to Jim or Dave (whichever works best) – maybe just cut up some green paper or colorful paper and have tape on it already so when its handed to puppet” it sticks in puppets hand….
Action: “Jim gives money to Dave”
Dave: (looks down) “Ahhh very good.”
Action: Dave counts. Silence.
Jim: “Will that do it?”
Dave: “High five”
Dave action: Dave makes “high five” with hand
Jim action: looks at him – stares. Says nothing.
Dave: “My advice is to drink water.”
Jim: “Dave, anyone could have given me that answer.”
Dave: “But I’m Dave, I’m an International celebrity.”
Webisode 4, The Dave & Jim Show
Jim: “Dave, welcome back to the show!”
Dave: “Sits there looking down, saying nothing.”
Jim: “Your looking a bit glum today”
Dave: “Well, I am suffering a hangover.”
Jim: “Oh dear.”
Dave: “I was out partying at Sophies in Camden last night with my good friend Solomon Rastagar. Hi Solomon (waves)! Waves some more. And some more. — “You know Solomon is one of my good friends.”
Jim: “Yes, Dave I know. Well we are going to talk about one of your favorite subjects today, travel. I know that will cheer you right up. You flew over Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa this year – and before the show you were telling me it
reminded you of your climb a few years back. Tell us about this. ”
Dave: “Yes Jim I climbed Africa’s tallest mountain with some help. I was clinging to our guides backpack the entire way. Bless her heart. However, I ended up in a plastic bag near the summit.”
Jim: “Was it raining?”
Dave: “No Jim I’m afraid it wasnt.”
Jim: “A plastic bag?”
Dave: “Yes sir – a very thick bag. They call it a High Altitude Pressure bag – it helps people who have altitude sickness.”
Jim: “So this is not where most people end up after climbing Kilimanjaro, right?”
Dave: “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Dave action: looks away quickly
Webisode 5, The Dave & Jim Show
Jim: “Before we get started on this weeks show, you must address the rumors that have been flying around town lately. Please tell me if its true – Today’s Times said you were jailed in Los Angeles last week for trying to force
yourself into the Poisoned Pepper nightclub on Hollywood Boulevard. Apparently there was an altercation with one of the bouncers and you were caught in the middle.”
Dave leans forward, looks straight at camera and yells out: “Gina I love you. (waves at camera) Don’t believe what you read in the papers baby.”
Action: dead silence
Dave: “I deny all allegations. My agent can speak directly to this issue. I’ll get you in touch with her after the show Jim.”
Jim: “Ok… moving right along… Today’s top travel headline is more people find themselves stressed when traveling – especially around the holidays. Dave, since you travel so much how do YOU avoid the stress of travel?”
Dave: “Jim…(pause very briefly), I enjoy a glass of fine wine.”
Dave Action: Moves hands against lips and then immediately moved out hand away from body to indicate his appreciation for wine
Jim: “Yes but when your moving from one place to another, airports, security, hassles with baggage, screaming babies?”
Dave: “Screaming babies in planes – this I am not a fan of.”
Jim: “Yes, Who is?! Please answer the question.”
Dave: “Jim, you become a veteran on the road. You become hardened. You turn into a road warrior. I encourage you and all my fans to watch the movie “Up in the Air” – with the ladies man George Clooney.”
Jim: “But how do you cope?”
Dave: “Ahhh…(pause – and move hand up to chin like thinking) I think I understand the question now. I refer to my little book of travel quotes to calm me. Here, let me read you some:”
Dave Action: picks up book (need small fake book as prop) and starts reading
Dave: “as Dense as the London Fog” – “open a can of whoopass” …ooooooh, and my absolute favorite “always a bridesmaid, never the bride”
Jim: “Dave, thank you for sharing those insightful quotes with us! Lets have you on another time to share more from your little book there.”
Dave: “I love sharing pearls of wisdom with your amazing audience. Goodnight everybody and good luck! Waves.”
Webisode 6, The Dave & Jim Show
Jim: Dave – you arrived to our studio out of breath this morning. Can you describe what happened at Heathrow earlier today.
Dave: I always drink on planes – even though that’s bad for staying hydrated and for dealing with jetlag. This flight from LAX was no different. I like to have a good time while confined in narrow spaces. I admit it – I ordered too many margaritas. I lost my temper.
Jim: How so?
Dave: My luggage did not arrive on the baggage carousel so I got pissed off. I climbed on top of the carousel belt and ran up to where the luggage comes out and then I yelled some nasty obscenities down the chute. I admit it, I lost my head figuratively and almost literally as well.
Jim: And what lesson does this teach us?
Dave: That life in airports is not perfect and I’m damn well going to do something about it. Uhhhh, sorry – I mean to say, that things will go wrong and one needs to keep an even keel. I let my keel slip. I want apologize to all my fans (waves). The video that is already on Youtube is not as bad as it makes me out to be.
Jim: Dave – you’ve mentioned Robert Ripley as being one of your idols – worshiping him as he worshiped the deities that he discovered during his global travels. Don’t you feel that worshiping dead idols is unhealthy?
Dave: I have a lot in common with Robert. I like to call him by his first name. We went to the same high school. I used to draw simple cartoons. I’m lucky to live close to his gravesite – which I occasionally visit. And we share a mutual love of International exploration.
Thats all I want to say about this now.
Jim: And is it true that you enjoy eating tropical fruit?
Dave: Is this the 20 question show Jim?
Yes, I love tropical fruit – you might say I have an unhealthy obsession with it. Normal friends email pictures of good times while traveling – I email my friends close up pictures of the guts of various tropical fruits I have ingested. A bag of Rambutans is not safe with me.
Jim: What are Rambutans?
Post editing – (I will edit the video of this webisode later and will insert a quick shot of a Rambutan fruit here)
Jim: Dave – as always you bring a breath of fresh air to our show. I’m already looking forward to our next meet up.
Dave: And like one of my favorite actors says, good day, good night and good luck. (Waves at audience).
Webisode 7, The Dave & Jim Show
Dave: Oooh I’m so excited to be here today Jim. I want to talk about one of my favorite subjects, social media.
Jim: What insights can you share with us?
Dave: I know your audience numbers close to a million each episode Jim.
Jim: To be honest I haven’t seen the latest numbers but I think that is highly exagerated.
Dave: I know your humble – but your agent let me look at your latest ratings before the show. I want to take this opportunity to encourage everyone watching now to follow me on Twitter. I want to be a big Twitter star – like Beyonce.
Go to w w w….
Jim action: cuts Dave off
Jim: Dave as you well know by now – our show is not about personal promotion – it is about giving expert advice.
Dave: I want to have as many followers as possible. I want to be famous like ….
Jim action: cuts Dave off again.
Jim: I heard you were drinking wine in China recently – how did that go?
Dave action: Turns to side and stares at Jim for a few seconds…then turns back to camera and continues
Dave: Oh it was wonderful. Wine, women and song. And sushi, you know how much I love sushi. I was treated first class. I had my own little hot tub and personal chef.
Dave: When you become a celeb (emotionally raises hand) – this is how the good life is lived.
Jim: I see
Dave: But the real highlight was rafting the Benxi River – the longest underground river in the world accessible by boat. I even got to hang from a stalactite!
Jim: That sounds adventurous – but …. we are out of time again – Dave it is always a pleasure.
Dave: Waves at camera, I love you all and I want to leave you with a quote by a wise man, Orson Welles, who once said, “There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror.”
Webisode 8, The Dave & Jim Show
Jim: Welcome back Dave – remember Dave, unlike the last show – we are going to keep the focus on useful tips and tricks for traveling. But before we get started, can you tell us why you are an hour late for the show?
Dave: On my way here, I tried to sneak into one of the red buses for free.
Jim: Oh, you mean the world famous London double deckers.
Dave: Yes, and I was detained for some time while the bobbies were called over. I tried to get in without paying as I left all my money in the hotel room and since I was already late I didn’t want to go back.
Jim: As a seasoned travel veteran, on a show about travel advice, I would NOT have expected to hear something like this coming from you.
Dave: Jim – lets move on, I’ve had enough drama for one day.
Jim: But you were detained by the police for some time?
Dave: Yes, but after they realized who I was, they let me continue. But first, not before taking some photos with me.
Jim: Ahh fame has its privileges eh? What is your favorite warm weather destination this time of year?
Dave: I really love Thailand – I go several times a year for the spicy food, tropical fruit and the wonderful spas in Bangkok.
I love a place where people don’t recognize me and I can wander the markets freely without publicity seekers and autograph hounds.
Jim: What else do you enjoy there?
Dave: The floating markets, the street food available all day and night. Bangkok is steamy, chaotic and so full of life. I love taking a boat down the Chao Praya River through the heart of the city past shacks on stilts and some of the top hotels in the world. There are some exotic places on the planet – this is certainly one of those places.
Jim: Dave – it sounds like our viewers need to head over to Thailand. Thanks for sharing.
Dave: If anyone needs more advice about Bangok – or Thailand – let me know.
Jim: Thanks Dave.
Webisode 9, The Dave & Jim Show
Jim: Its a pleasure to have you join us again Dave. Welcome to our last show of 2012. We are taking questions from the audience. I will start by asking you three simple questions.
Dave: Fire away Jim.
Jim: This is from Michelle, a photographer from Orange County California. What is your favorite city in the United States and why?
Dave: I love Los Angeles. I really love to party. And when I say party – I mean hard. I’m there until, as my favorite singer Cheryl sings “till the sun comes up over Santa Monica Blvd.” Oooo I love that song.
I would also like to mention, one of my favorite hot spots is the Sea Urchin nightclub on Melrose. Many of my favorite celebs drop by to hang. We are all on a first name basis. Its the place to see and be seen. I want to tell you though – I don’t need to see – As a celebrity, I’m all about “being seen”.
Jim: Yes we know. Ok moving on – 2nd question comes from an audience member who has identified himself as one of your friends, James.
Dave: (leans forward waves) – Hi Jim – hope you aren’t freezing your ass off in Seattle now. Ha ha ha. Drink more beer. (Waves again).
Jim: He asks, how come you haven’t visited me recently?
Dave: Dammit, How can you ask me this question – you (stops and points at the camera) haven’t visited me for years. I even helped set you up on a date last week.
Jim: Dave – please, now is not the time to get into personal diatribes in front of an International audience. Lets try for the last question.
This is from Toni who lives in Central California. What type of luggage do you take on your travels?
Dave: A wise man …me, once said “travel lightly” and thats what I do. No check in luggage – only carry on.
Jim: Is that really a useful tip for our audience?
Dave: Jim – I’d like to invite you out for shots of vodka after the show at my favorite watering hole, Sophies in Camden – you know I love to celebrate.
Jim: And you know I don’t drink.
Dave: Happy 2013 everyone! Waves at camera.
Webisode 10, The Dave & Jim Show
—- Sign in background on wall —- “I’m a Belieber”
Dave: Jim. Are you a big Justin Bieber fan?
Jim: Whose Justin Bieber?
Dave: Whoa (waves hands in air) JIM – where have you been hiding? Justin Bieber is HUGE. Millions of views on youtube.
I’m a major Belieber. His latest song “As Long as you Love Me” with Big Sean is revolutionary. I love the video too. I can’t stop listening to that song. Over and over… I’ll be a platinum, I’ll be a silver…. (starts dancing)
Jim: Ok we get the point. I’m not familiar with his music.
Dave: Jim – I’ll educate you about young urban pop music over a drink at Sophies in Camden later tonight.
Jim: What is the point of your visit today? To discuss pop music?
Dave: No, to give thanks that we survived the “end of the world” …Wheww.
I’ll tell ya, I was sweating that out for a while – the Mayan calendar wasn’t clear on which time zone we were supposed to use. Pacific Standard, Eastern Standard, Mountain time – no one could tell me.
Then I started calling friends and family around the world to see if they were still here.
Jim: I’m not sure it would have worked like that Dave.
Dave: Some of my friends were wondering why I was calling them at 1am in the morning? They thought there was some emergency.
Jim: This is not normal.
Dave: And the good thing for me is I won my bet with my friend?
Jim: You were taking bets on whether the world would end?
Dave: Yes I won 500 dollars from my friend Nick in Orange County. Hahah, Nick, that will teach you to bet with me the next time.
Jim: Oh my goodness.
Dave: Cheers to you and all your viewers. Waves.
Webisode 11, The Dave & Jim Show
(Draw a TV and next to it write “performance art” and place on wall behind)
Jim: Dave – the UK papers are reporting that you threw your television out your window during a recent stay at Andaz Hotel on sunset Blvd in Hollywood. Can you comment on this?
Dave: I would love to. I’m a celebrity – this is what I do when I become angry.
Jim: You weren’t on drugs right?
Dave: Jim – I don’t use drugs to creatively get high.
Jim: You call throwing a tv out your window creativity?
Dave: I call it reality based performance art.
Jim: Dave – why did you do it?
Dave: My agent told me he didn’t get the time slot of my choice for a celeb appearance on the Jeff Probst show
Jim: Who is Jeff Probst?
Dave: He’s one of my heroes. The host of Survivor.
Jim: I would think that when Jeff hears of your refrigerator incident, you won’t be invited on the show.
Dave: Lets move on shall we?
Jim: We are out of time again – I look forward to hearing about your Australia trip on your next appearance.
Dave: thanks Jim
Webisode 12, The Dave & Jim Show
(Place crudely drawn airplane on wall)
Jim: I hear you were causing problems on an Air Asia flight recently between KL and Bangkok.
Dave: Flying is always an adventure for me.
Jim: what happened
Dave: I put several opened bags of marbles in the overhead bins along with my luggage. We were all treated to a lot of extra noise when we took off. Ha ha ha.
Jim: Not recommended airplane etiquette Dave.
Dave: I then grabbed a can of orange fanta and a hot meal from the cart in the aisle while the flight attendants were not looking.
Jim: you stole these items?
Dave: yes, but several passengers saw me and told the flight attendants.
Jim: what happened then?
Dave: the purser came over and handcuffed me to the seat for the rest of the flight.
Jim: so you sat quietly?
Dave: No I banged the call button over and over again.
Jim: you were out of control?!
Dave: I love margaritas.
Jim: I would be surprised if Air Asia ever lets you on a flight again.
Dave: In light of my recent trip to Australia, I want to announce that I have become a huge Olivia Newton John fan – i’ve been listening to “hopelessly devoted to you” over and over again. In fact, it has inspired me to compose my own song which I would like to debut on your show.
Jim: Lets hear it.
My home is in the sky
I really love to fly
I love the stews
They give me free brew
I love you.
Jim: Sure to be a classic. Thanks for joining us today Dave.
Webisode 13, The Dave & Jim Show
(make crudely drawn wine bottle and write “port” above it and paste on wall behind)
Dave: You like my shirt?
Jim: It is certainly a bright one. Are you trying to make a fashion statement on my show?
Dave: No, I bought it in Honolulu at the airport. I spent a night under a bench across from the food court there.
Dave: Like that popular website couchsurfing dot com, I was bench surfing.
Jim: I heard you were also in Portugal lately.
Dave starts singing: “All Eyes on Us” – “All eyes on Us” “Bring the Action”
Jim: What are you doing?
Dave: I’m a huge Britney fan – I can’t get that song out of my head.
Jim: How about Portugal Dave?
Dave: Yes, I love TAP Portugal.
Jim. Did you have a good flight?
Dave. I was well behaved if that’s what you are referring to.
Jim. I wasn’t. But how was your trip?
Dave: I love drinking their adult beverages.
Jim: you mean Port?
Dave: Yes! In fact I threw back a bottle before coming on your show this morning.
Jim: That’s a lot of wine considering Port is usually 20% alcohol and your a small guy.
Dave: Yes, it makes me sing inspirational songs. Here’s my latest studio cut:
I went to the beach shop
I bought a flip flop.
I gave a cop a lollipop.
I went to the zoo
and watched a tree kangaroo hop.
I laughed a lot.
Ha ha ha, thank you thank you. I love you. I love you so much. Bows
Webisode 14, The Dave & Jim Show
Dave: Jim, I’ve been on your show many times now, but I don’t feel you are treating me as a celebrity ought to be treated.
Jim: And how’s that?
Dave: you should have Belgian chocolate and fancy French wine waiting for me when I enter your studio. (Pause for effect) I want Chateau Margaux.
Jim: Anything else?
Dave: And no interrupting when I speak. Your a notorious interrupter.
Jim: is that all?
Dave: And the 4000 pounds per show needs to be renegotiated NOW – (points hand at Jim). As in right now.
Jim: Dave this is not the time to be discussing your salary on air.
Dave: And I want it in American dollars too – I’m getting tired of losing money converting it over.
Jim: There is an appropriate time and place for this discussion.
Dave: My fans are behind me on this one. Hi Gina (waves)- I told them the pitiful stipend you give me per show.
Jim: Dave – it is a true honor to have such a celebrity on the show. You are so famous. Your presence is causing me heart palpitations.
Dave: Have you seen a doctor?
Jim: It only happens when you are on the show. The stress of your demands are killing me. It is like a plaque build up on your teeth.
Dave: And when I’m done with every show – I want you to personally give me a 300 pound gift certificate to the spa at the Four Seasons on Park Lane.
Jim: Ohhhhh, ohhhhhh ….starts moaning. and then says, “soo much pain”. “soo much pain”. grabs head. keels over.