John M. Edwards arrives like gangbusters in the Pennsylvania Dutch Country, a fundamentalist locavore dreamscape straight out of the Harrison Ford flick “Witness.” When my British friend Vicky Langdale arrived at my apartment above Tullio’s Hair Salon in Westfield, New Jersey, I began brainstorming for something different to do, and I decided on a car trip to the Pennsylvania Dutch Country. Both of us had seen the Harrison Ford movie … [Read more...]
Little Denmark
At a British- or Irish-style “public house” in an old colonial town, a fictional action figure named John M. Edwards sucks down suds with serendipity. I was standing at the bar at the Jolly Trolley in Westfield, New Jersey, staring at my Fuller’s London Pride, when I decided I was so drunk I would indeed have a hangover in the morning. The red label reminded me of the Protestant solidity of London and the infinite possibilities of drinking … [Read more...]
T Up: Thank God for the Oil Companies!
JOHN M. EDWARDS, part owner of a privately held oil and natural gas concern based in Houston and New Orleans, gushes on about one of nature’s most valuable resources: petroleum! You can’t get to a rainforest without any transport to get you there. Luckily most major oil companies like Chevron and Shell have absolutely no interest in damaging the primary rainforests of the Amazon and Congo, although there is always some drilling on the edges … [Read more...]
Gotham
John M. Edwards, alias ”Tom James, Zagat Reviewer,” wonders if a bon vivant who can’t cook but can criticize, could possibly win a James Beard prize for “gourmandism.” “I’m sorry but we are fully committed!” The dumbed-down dame maitr’d, a dead ringer for “Jewel,” flashed an ultra ambiguous vampyr smile. Inside, it did indeed slightly resemble a lunatic asylum. Horsey-faced tourists yammered loudly, throwing back their heads with … [Read more...]
Halloween Hell
“If you don’t give me your candy, I’m going to bloody your nose!” menaced the big kid who had chased me down and tackled me onto a driveway. “Here, take it, I don’t want it, I don’t want it,” I whimpered miserably, adrenaline on overtime, phlegm and tears dripping like candlewax down my Pumpkinhead face. I quickly handed over my pillowcase jampacked with Hershey’s, Sweet Tarts, Razzles, Doublemint Gum, Milk Duds, Candy Corns, icky … [Read more...]
Investigating Legendary Party Thrower Jim Haynes
It was through my fellow American expat friend, “The Famous Zack,” a black Christian science-fiction writer originally from Ohio, with a short story coming up back then in the now-defunct “AMAZING STORIES,” that I first heard about the wild parties thrown by the legendary Jim Haynes, whom some sour-grape artists deemed an apocryphal “traitor.” So well known was Haynes as a manic socialite host that he even felt propelled to write a … [Read more...]
Sightseeing in New York City
New York City is a place like no other. Rich in culture and buzzing with life, it’s the perfect holiday destination. Highlights include the Empire State Building, Ellis Island, the Statue of Liberty, Wall Street and Greenwich Village. However, if tourists are to make the most of their adventures in this metropolis, they need to do some planning. No trip to the Big Apple is complete without taking in the awe-inspiring and iconic Statue of … [Read more...]
Death in Africa
While scouting for the first descent of the Baro River in Ethiopia, a tributary of the White Nile, I heard about a Peace Corps volunteer, Bill Olsen, 25, a recent graduate of Cornell, who decided to take a dip in the river at Gambella, a village near the South Sudan border. The locals warned to stay away from the river, which they claimed was busy with monsters. Bill ignored the cautions, and swam to a sandbar on the far side of the muddy river, … [Read more...]
A Traveler’s Passion
I had my first taste of travel back in 2007 when I went on a group tour throughout Europe to six countries in twenty days. It was a group of kids from all over New Jersey that I did not know, but after those twenty days we were like a family. At the time it was my dream to visit London, I was obsessed with the accent, the culture and seeing the sights. I always wanted to see the London Eye and when I finally did, it all hit me. That moment was … [Read more...]
Matunuck Oyster Bar Rhode Island
Forget hands on. Think feet and bellies. When taking a tour of the aquaculture shellfish farm behind the Matunuck Oyster Bar restaurant in South Kingstown, R.I., you not only learn about where your food comes from, you walk through its breeding grounds, and if you're lucky, harvest a few oysters to eat later. Sometimes the nibbling is sooner. On a tour last summer, led by owner of the shellfish farm and restaurant, Perry Raso,who does them … [Read more...]